A Letter to a Monster

I typically steer clear of polarizing topics. This is a space for fun, a space for good food and travel, this is a space for adventure. But unfortunately, not all adventures are happy and fun, some adventures are living nightmares that require bravery, community, and skill. Some adventures require you trust your gut and absolutely advocate for yourself.

For quite some time I’ve been traumatized by the letters written by Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis in defense of Danny Masterson. These now infamous letters asking a judge to have leniency for a monster. Pair these letters with recently watching the Quiet on the Set documentary where one whole episode talks about how a courtroom full of people – of celebrities, banded together, writing letters for a monster. Monsters who abused women, monsters who abused children and I was left shaken. You are probably asking, “why do you care?” 

I was once asked to write a letter defending a monster. For me the answer was easy, no. I was asked to write such a letter for my ex-husband, who is in prison for crossing state lines to have extremely inappropriate relations with a fifteen-year-old girl. Now tell me, why would I write such a letter to help this animal? Even if this was his only offense, which I can tell you - it most definitely wasn’t. Mike Taylor was a master manipulator, and he fooled a lot of people and though I had second thoughts on our wedding day I never imagined the nightmare that awaited me. I never imagined being married to someone who lied constantly, who used mental and emotional abuse to make me feel bad and who tried to separate me from friends and family. For ten years I was made to feel stupid, broken, that my only purpose was to drive him around. It was laughable to be asked to write a letter to defend the person who screamed at me for getting upset when fertility treatments failed. I know now that really a guardian angel was looking out for me, but at the time it was devastating, lonely and just plain miserable.

What I would have loved was to write a letter detailing him draining our bank account to spend on barely legal girls taking off their clothes on the internet – an activity that cost him his job and caused a fair amount of embarrassment. This was all years before his arrest, but safe to say he was hardly a good guy. He was always a narcissist, a sociopath. He was so arrogant, sure he would never get caught; positive he was smarter than everyone else. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t keep the people who loved me away and I got out, and for years I let him get away with it. I let him spin his poor me tale of a wife who left him for another woman. He married again and he was even less kind to the next girl. His behavior got worse – he was beyond help and then he got caught literally with his pants down. Even then he was still so full of himself that he thought I would help.

People from his life did write letters – shame on them – it didn’t help much as he was still sentenced to twenty-eight years, but could you imagine being asked to write a letter to help and you do it. No one reached out to me to ask if I was surprised, if I would help or what I thought – they just wrote letters defending a monster. Not taking into account daughters, stepdaughters, sisters, mothers, cousins, friends who could have fallen prey to Mike or someone just as disgusting, they just wrote letters. How do we think they sleep at night?

I’m not telling you all this to feel sorry for me, I don’t need pity or sympathy – this adventure made me strong, and it paved the way for my current, beautiful, adventure. I tell you this because I don’t want anyone to suffer through this type of adventure, this type of regret and wonder if you could have changed anything, saved anyone. I tell you this to remind you to trust your gut, advocate for yourself always, keep your friends and family close and don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve a good life, a good job, or the most epic adventure you could possibly imagine – because you deserve it all. You are beautiful, talented and strong and no one should make you feel less than that. As Frank Sinatra said, “the best revenge is massive success” and our success, our glorious life should be the only letter we ever write.